I had a great dissapoinment today.Actually my art teacher have to be refree for Bola Baling,and i have to go down.And guess wht?I saw Shen Huan.I have to stuck in there like almost an hour.And guess wht happen?My classmate told him,and he actually look at me.OMG!And i dont know what to say anymore.I was being force by my friend to talk to him,and my friend call his name and he just ... stand there and just waiting what i want to say,but my mouth couldnt said a word.And there,i just lost a chance.But i felt very very nervous,my cheeks are going to burned because i'm extremely shy.But he just look at my clumsy self and doesnt said a word.I felt embrassed.But why do he looks me,anyway.and at that time,he joins my classmate hear what teachers said.I was like,uhh?And my classmate,called me like "Icha,icha shen huanlaa",i mean that makes him more like perasan,i think.Right,goshh.And i dont even know what the boys said to him.Shitlaa.Shit to me also.And when,he looks me i dont say a word,and he just go to this girl and take her back.Wo Ai Hen Ni,Shen Huann!!!I just hate myself from liking you.And i just hate this dumb nervous feeling.
Schools are going normal normal.My mind flew while i was studying.I think so much,about the moving,about my crushed.Everything stuck in my head.Just why is my life like this?My greds are decreasing.I became so lazy and lost confidence.I felt very inferioty complex.I just hate this feeling.I just hate falling in love.And i also think so much about my future,what am i gonna be,who will i married to.With my exams result,am i gonna live?I know,playing guitar while sings a song can't make a living.But why is the reality so harsh?I just wanted to do wht i want to do,but why i can't?
Mama said,in Melaka diperwajibkan wearing a tudung.And all in morning session.And majority is malay.I hate this all.I dont want to move.I dont want to move.I always said that but my mom scolded me.Fucking laa!Tiu!(curse word for chinese)
I think i want to stop this.And yeah,another thing,i've watched aida's video.Korean guy pair up with malay gurl?Is this true?Wow,i didnt know.Well,i know how's the feeling when we cant be with korean or japanese guy.Chill out,Aida. Soon,you will meet someone :D
