Maybe,just maybe this entry will be the longest entry ever.
I just surf internet for the first time in 1 month.There's no internet there,so i just stuck in my dull life.And i realized that i have turned into a very emosional person.Or maybe sensitive.
The surrounding,the people,the way they think,the way they speak,the culture and type of people is very extremely different.
My heart fell somber,i'm so lonely like i'm the only person in this world.No one will understand what i go through like there.And i somehow cant get contact with Aida.The first week was hard for me.I cry myself to sleep everyday.I dont want to say much,but the conclusion is i'm lonely ,and i hated here.That's it.
I dont have friends,yes i dont.I walk alone,i eat alone,i walk to library alone.And people stares at me,gawking at me,as if i am impregnant an illegal child or something.Yes,i know that i'm from town and KL and whatsortever.But why do they have to stare at me like that?And i really fucking hate at my classmates,especially the bitches.And one of them ,tried to pick a fight with me,and i do reply with harsh words.I dont fucking care.And guess wht?they have a really really lame group that tried to attract attention,whom they called themselves "7 style" ,but to me,they are more to "7 shit".
My mom teached at the same school,and will bringing pressure to me.It was morning session,i'm really not used to it,and i slept in class.Uh huh,i dont care tht i'm a daughter of a teacher or anything.I'm really tired of my life.At least in my old school,i have a reason to go to school,that is enjoying my school life with my friend.But now,my day as dull as grey,i'm like a robot ,go to school,return home with a pile of homework,sleep,do homework,watching tv,and sleep.I'm totally clueless.
I see everyones with laughter and smile,but me i'm just accompanied by my loneliness.And i met this girl named Nabilah,she's ok.Eventhough i dont think that she understand much of me.Eventhough i do have her,but i cant 100% depend on her.She's nice of course,but she doesnt undertans wht i'm going through.I dont know.And she is not with me all the time.
I received a form for prefects candidates because of course with my status 'daughter of a teacher'.But i deny it.I dont want to involve with my mom in school,but i have
to.Every teachers know me,half of them.That really make me feel uneasy.And boys from other class always asking me,are you teacher mazita's daughter?I'm totally fed up with that question.And the second question is;where i am from?.And they expect me that i will be smart with all that reason.I'm totally opposite.And this so called 'popular guy',like ask me in a annoying way 'boleh berkenalan?/can i know you',well i suppose that line is meant for flirting.But i dont answer one of his question,i just stare him weirdly and slackly,like i'd seen something horrible.He must be fed up.Haah-!serve your right.
And guess wht?I got the last number in my class;old school.I dont take 3 or 4 papers,and of course i got zero for tht.I cant fixed tht back,my grandma died just as the same week as the exam operation.And i only get like 1 a's only that is Agama.I dont want to talk about it cuz it's not my fault that i get last,i have reason.
Maybe everyone knew this that of course the king of pop die.I dont know him much,until 25 Jun.The world talks about him.And i've seen his memorial,and i do cried.I'm so confused,while he still alive,his brightness as a star is so almost dark,when his death time people just started to search him everywhere in internet.But i do think,he's a good person.Dont judge a book by its cover.
So tht's it,i dont know until when i can post entry again.Maybe like 2 weeks later.Till then
KHAIRUNNISA.
