Swearing at the laptop's monitor,the cheeky "Server Not Found" makes me slammed the Mcdonald's french fries,who the delivery-boy
trying to flirt,telling me im matured with my age on,and where studying whatsortever,with my small devilish mind speaks
"Take the damn money and get your ass out of here,you fucking fatty".Ahh,the cruelty and sadist sometimes played in my mind,with a mask and plastic smile thats covering them.
Fakeness,yes one piece from a hundred pieces of personality in me ,stick as if like a nail on everybody's finger,the tool for me to confront people.Smile,just smile even if my hearts
aches.
Baka.(stupid in japanese)
the connection is risen up my anger,missing out a precious conversation,missing out a talk from soul to soul,even if we're bound by an invicible wall,
Wait,this relationship,neither lover nor a typical friendship, middle i guess.No,it's not bothering me when others made false conclusion,perspectives on us.Because i have my own perspectives on how it works.
Coming from a rainy November,out of nowhere,He's like a person reflects my inner sef,mutuality i guess,he's just like my another self,that reflects towards the mirror.
Oh,another day,another steps towards the brick of boring days.The schooldays are inches above me.
Here comes another lonely schooldays,where i just doodled,staring at the textbook,talking with myself in my box of mind maybe with my imaginary friend,hoping for her to listen, in my own little world
.And all around me was strangers,talking crap with their typical minded.Envying the laughter around me that breaks my ear-amplifier.
And all my days ends with sigh,as i slammed myself on my bed ,trying to shout in the tiny room,but failed,even my voice wont come out from my throats,from empty hearts.
I really need a psychologist,im arguing with my inner self.
Maybe someone out there when they read this,the first thing when their mouth came out was "she's an emo".Think again,don't rushly mades assumption.
Imagine,that you were in my shoes,in my body,in my soul,in my own thoughts,in my own lack-of-strength.What do you feel?What your inner self tried to whisper to you?
Think again.
