I envy myself in the past,the reflection of a positive mind and a wide smile.I envy too with my typically minded post in the archive.I envy the pictures with my friend that seems laughing our lungs out enjoying the time.I envy that i had time luring myself with Jdrama and Anime,which i couldnt not a single second now. I envy that i had so much friend around me.
I want to be her back.

I hope the music will distinguishes the fire inside of me,will deaf my ear without any sounds of 2 parents arguing and the sounds of door slamming.She's totally threw all of her guidance for me in her care,just thought for help but instead she threw a cold voice.Am i invincible?

Rain,i dont know which words to describe my feeling whenever rain falls.Naturally,i love rain,i felt secured and warm.With a cup of hot milo in my hand,sitting both my legs crossed.Sipping some hot liquid with Priscilla Ahn's music replay all over again for hours.and thus I dreamed out loud while staring at my room ceiling.

I always felt helpless when blogging,i will set to my mind "i will storied the same thing over again,i will complain,i will be emo over again,let's just not do this".And thus i wrote random things,which i dont want to actually and not my current feeling.Some of my post are just plastic.

I never liked someone deeply ,or completely.The feeling just stop by and go ,lefting nothing on my heart.I was just starin' because sometimes i read people.haha,this person really makes my hand's down,he didnt even glance at me after i shot those long sharp stare.

Kill the randomness

I became more random and random,where is the so called indifferent and deep thoughts that i used to have?I demand to own it back.And im starting to like stoned/drunked and messy type of guy.

my randomness getting critical.

I met a guy who is an animefreak and a YUI-lover in guitar class.Well he is a music teacher but of course didnt teach me.He play the intro of Life when i packed my guitar back and talked to my music teacher about how to play skychord.and i almost fell when he smiled to me .

I imagined i am in his state,owns the stage with guitar on my lap,passionately singing with my eyes closed.I am in my own little world eventhough i stand on a crowd.Letting the melodies absorbs,and the lyrics play it's role that is being my language.And when the strumming of the guitar stops,my ears can only hear the crowd clapping.And I open my back my eyes,with a slight meaningful smile and thanked.

But no,i didnt reach all that.

Where troubles melt like lemon drops away upon the chimney tops.

"Khairunnisa!tengok depan"
my eyes widened after the echoes of the name buzz in my head and automaticly woke me up from my spacingout,the whole class was looking at me.Crap.
Once again,why has i become like this?even i sucked focusing in guitar class.Stop,please stop khairunnisa,yearning too much for freedom that never comes.My marks are decreasing exams per exams,my name had been on the teacher's appoinment.Yeaah im so haapppyy :D:D::D

i lvoe jason castro ,especially for those passionate eyes,i dont care if youre a husbad now,craaappp.why did you decided to married youre only 23 !arghhh

dropdeadgorgeous.