See You Soon -Coldplay

Hearing this songs in the rainy days . I imagined that I'm in those classic black and white film , where I sat in a car watching the trees passed by , reminiscing.

If I could write thousands of letter just to vomit my feeling , I would . But it will returned back after all , like gravity.I'm acting like a bulletproof , while I'm just as fragile as ever.

Okay , no more false hopes . I'm tired of it.

I never seriously love someone , The weight of attaching to someone is too heavy ,this is how my heart behaves.

I often thinks that i'm stuck between two types of peers or clique. I am a versatile indeed , I befriended with all kind of peoples . I embrace my open-ness and littered away the shallowness.

I hanged out with most of the boys lately , their carefree attitude and the jokes that seems to be laughing machine are really giving me the ease compare to girls nonetheless . I would not have to mind my language or jokes that seems to be offensive . But of course , as a girl I have my limitations

I want to fly , but gravity still holds me

The Lovely Bones .

I was struck with the spilled emotions which the film delivers , which succesfully makes my tears shed.The uplonging pain of murder,the separations with the love ones . And then came the part when it shows the illustration of heaven .The massive colours of nature ,when birds flew magnificiently , enjoying the timeless second, the beauty is indeed unspeakable.

You should watch this movie ,it teaches us to cherish the life while we still have it.

I was perhaps thinking that it was rather perpentually ,infinity waiting for this nearly 2 blasphemy pages speech to end. Literally , I admired the theme , but the overflowing of guts that it needs was swallowing me down .

It was bad enough when I was selected for the first girl ever to be given speech . There was no face I knew , no lights of familiarity that would perhaps calm my nervousness down.

You had to speak with enthusiasm, show the world you are capable , you are worth it was all my inner-self whispered to me. The inner-self helped me , at least it did .

I climbed the stage , carefully watched my steps , as I knew clumsiness is a part of me .

At first , the mic was not working , second try ;none , third try; my voice audibled.

I read the speech like the news-anchors without any gestures whatsortever . I was indeed blinded by my own fear .

The text flew from the podium , I took it greedily .Embarassed flushed. Thank god it didnt flew far. I continued , made some pronounciation mistakes and the list goes on and ended up with "thankgodit'sfinish"-Thank-you.

Abah did not quite happy I did not win . He was afterall the one who wrote the speech , putting some fierce-military-words , and teached me how to speak like a roaring waves . sigh / when is my turn to make them proud for something on me?

When sometimes I want to voice out my thoughts ,deliver messages through out the people ; my voice is somehow inaudible . Writings is my only weapon nonetheless , that's why speaking was never my thing.

I've tried my best , it was an experience nonetheless :)