So it has been confirmed.I will be moving this June.I dont know what to say.I'm not happy nor i'm not sad.I just dont know what to say anymore.Yeah,i'm feelisg so damn down right now.
My test are going to start next week at Monday.And i'm not studying anything yet.Yeah,i'm not studying anything.Gaaah,i'm so useless.My english are getting broken day by day.I dont know why.My grammar is really sucks.An i'm getting lazier day by day.Aahh,what do i'm good at anyway?I dont have that such talent in music,i'm not at guitar completely yet.I can't do like lead guitar and can't play so heavenly good yet.That's because i dont have time because of the fuckin' school and i dont have anyone to teach me.I wanted so badly to enter music class to sharpen my skill.But yet,i cant.Because of my parents money condition.I'm nothing but a clueless,useless person.
I dont know whts with my friend lately.She always scold me because i always asked her wht the teacher said.I know,i'm a blur person.But please be nice to me.If you hate me then dont talk to me again.I'm a bit frustated with that.But i'm an easy person so i dont mind and just forget about it.Well,whatever.It's useless for a friend to not understand me.I dont care,i dont care.
Everyday,i go to school feeling blank.Sometimes,i dont finish my homework and in the end got scolded by teacher.And i felt irritated seeing people.Sometimes people in my class always like insult me whenever i tried to speak english.I mean,whts wrong with that?I think they see me like "whts up with this malay girl trying to speak english?".Yeah,i know wht they think.And they must thought that i'm nothing but a typical malay girl tht wear tudung.I mean,i'm not hating the tudung part.But i hate they see me like those malay yg pakai tudung but perangai mcm rempit.You know wht i mean?I felt so you know terhina?Yea,i meant that.Alright,alright i know my english is soo not damn well.Because i rarely spoke,because when i spoke they comment me.Instead,of speaking i always write blog,reading novel,reading manga scan in english.At least,i put effort.Not like their narrow minded people.At least,i try ok?
I've been thinking,i really serious with my goal eventhough i'm not so talented.But i really have a deep passion in it.I mean,i can do anything just for enter any of music school.But i'm worried,if i take music course,my chance in carrier is soo little.Like 2%.And do my mom allowed me?The answer is NO. And my mom thought me i want to reach money and famous.Like those fake celebrity out there.I'm not reaching for that.I feel the music.And if i given a chance,i want to be in orchestra though i just know to play a guitar.
Nobody understand me.Tough,life is tough.
I'm out.
