I just finish from 1 hour chatting with Aida and my internet friend guy.He asked me to hear Blue sand song that addict me.I can understand your feeling very well :) .Somehow,your life are match with my life and we have to stuck from the harshness of reality.
So i'm still on exam.My grandma's illness is becoming even worst and she might not live long anymore,and Mama still on sober.And at the same time,she doesnt really much gave attention to me,and even worst i didnt do well on exam ,i cant concentrate at all.And here i am ,stuck in front of PC.Saying rubbish at my own blog.I dont know how to describe my feeling anymore.
People around me saying things like"I will gonna be miss you","Are you moving?!".I can see fakeness in them.I dont see any difference wether i'm moving or not.Since they got in high school,they totally forgot me and when they knew the news that i will be moving,the pretending to be pitiful at me.Why did they even bother?
-even a book of memory will turn into dusk.
Exam are getting pretty sucks to me.I dont know if i pass or not,i dont bother to get A's nowadays,because i wouldnt get even how much hard work i put in.Haaishh.I more spend times with my only chocolate-black coloured guitar.Ahhh,sometimes i can't stand being in my room,cuz it reminds me of my grandma,her baby poder face,her hairbrush,her lotion,her clothe.Everything,haunting me.Eventhough she live with me for just 1 and half a year,but still it reminds me of her a lot.
Shenn huan,i dont see him for a while now.I think it's almost second week since i dont get to see him.After all,it all turns to unrequited love.Haaih,i dont know.Maybe i'm too unlucky with love.
I just cant believe i still got 4 days left in my-not-reach-2-years' school.I dont know about the teacher's day performance.Impossible i can do with in front of so many crowds.And with my unconfident feeling,i decided not to do for the sake of myself.Cuz it only brought shame to me.
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Khairunnisa.
