yeaa,i'm a bad reputation

So my marks got on my old school,and tadaa , everyones there now how bad the marks flew down after i started to move here.So i have been chopped as the bad reputation because the greatest student of 3RK got D on Math on Trial which in SP ,the teachers wont make a big deal out of it at all.So the question is,why bring my name up eventhough I am done with that school and already became a history?I had hard time accepting reality knowing my marks,why added the spice?

Yeah,i don't know why my marks flew down like that,I used not to get even a C .But D?who am i joking with?maybe because i move and bla bla bla,the teachers are different.I am not already as good as old times.My focus are extremely distracted,and that i didnt even know why.I felt somewhat hopeless knowing it's only 40 days til PMR ,and i didnt even do anything yet.

And of course,if i didnt get what they want,they will see me with the eyes of "owh,she's not that good" look when the results come in my old school.

Past life still haunts me indeed.I'm somewhat paranoid with the people who expecting too much of me.

I felt unusual,seeing the different atmosphere when i look through the windows ,
I used to see the same old military camp ,and almost everyday seeing the army jogging in a group.It had turned very different here,almost buildings that i can see.

and people,hah!.Having a separation and meeting at the same time,makes me lunatic a bit.But,hmm i felt well great to come back to my real home.
but urhh culturalshock much?the boys are completely different,socialising without having worried about gender or bad speculation , even had no worries sharing my chair with them and sitting in a group full of boys.haha they make my days somehow.


The farewell party was pretty nostalgic,well i didnt expected it at all.I didnt even asked for it.
But who knows,people can be really nice and sincere.If only i could forget about the negative part of them and take the good side of people.
/sigh Life is funny.I thought my hopes lost,but hey,God is still here to help me.
So i make a little change of myself,being the way i am and not being hypocrite.I know it's wrong for
some people.And i know,the stares that they gave me.But heck,who f-cking cares anyway?I don't want to live in doubt just because of their thoughts.Give me time to repair the better self of me.

Trial is getting neaaaarr.To be honest,i'm not even ready with this hyped up PMR thingy.

when the lights go out.

I can't believe i'm leaving this place where i used to be somewhat an alien or outcast to this place.I didnt think also it will be so fast,just like a dream.And i will be back to square one,leading the life that i used to have.I felt so weird.Especially had to deal with 2 different types of peers.

But oh well.