Sky .

Gazing the sky through the window of my little messy bedroom , wondering what's the future holds. I am like a petal , that flew by the wind , lost and bewildered on my own direction .

The sky is striking today . It's as if speaks a word of wisdom to me and as if trying to calm me from the dissapoinment of murdering my own dignity . At least the sky is here with me since nobody would even bother to be there for me .

Yes , I do .

Before I can even taste the sorrow , my tears already swelling up my eye . Maybe I'm kind of familliar with this sorrow I barely feel anything . The sun is blinding , I long for rain to drench my feeling even more .

I wish miracles can happen.

The rain is pouring all night ,I'm being sleepless again . My eyes just can't handle the fear anymore if I shut them out . Mama had cut all ties of hopes on me ,sternly did not insisted me taking the results just to save our faces and put her best "don't care " attitude . I thought I'm pleased with her reactions , but it indeed hurting my pride as a daughter .I felt like i'm just a spare parts in these family , like a broken doll that did not put on use anymore.

I confided myself I'm going to be okay with laughters and jumping all alone . At least that will make me feel ease , perhaps ....

A little fantasy won't harm.

We sighed as soon as we stepped the ground of reality . There are too many obstacles to face after this second , as soon as we take further steps away , away from that place.

While everyone been bearing with that fears , I'm still blind to feel anything. It's like they are talking in words I don't understand.

here comes the sun

So I meet the Sun today .It's shimerring light shone right through my face and turning my hair from black to a slight dark-brownish coloured , as it's speak for it's always there to guide people and give hopes. After a while waking up to see the moon,this passed few days.It's pale light had left me sighing ,knowing that a day passed and wasted from blinding my eyes out in the messy bed.

Last night I cried unknowingly . That dream came again ,the utmost fear that I will overcome in a few days .It's like ,i'm being spit by people ,my pride hurts , and i'm feeling miserable all the way to my throat just because of a piece of slip .

I know it's too late to do anything ,I wonder if i still have hopes?

Fear just run up in my vein whenever i heard results is next week. This happy harmonize tune just fills the air,hoping that it will ease my chickenshit fear.I shall refrain the tears that swallowing in the tips of cornea and regretness that swelling in my emotion's nerves. I have to confront this maturedly ,clamly .Yeah ,that's how it should be.

I've been running in the same circles.My sweats dropping , as I gasped the air and let it out rushly.

Those faces ,who seems so proud of what they have , those words are like a stain of dirt spit out right to my face.

If only I could peek in their mind, those white lies can be seen nakedly.

But it's okay , I still have the road to choose.

gifts .

I once met an artist by the street , he was beautiful likewise with his artworks ,with his hair that falled gracely on his shoulder ,and with his eyes that was so dry and dazed . I can't help but stared at him unconsciously for quite a minute.Since my stares was like a child that craves for a toy , of course he noticed me and reply my stares with a smile. I smiled back embarasingly knowing I stare too long and sharp.He showed some kind of handsign language that asked me if I'm interested with his artworks,and from that I knew he can't talk.

My heart faint , I never knew someone that beautiful and talented have some lackness , that almost every human possessed .

Oh ,a million faces just passed my way ,and they are all the same .

Oh,who knows just what the future holds?