Piles and piles of exercise and reference book on my table,honestly i didnt know where the heck to start.I'm soo gonna insane,i just can't wait to be free from exam and i will not go to school straight after that,like heck i care.
I'm just gonna study what i can and i don't care anymore after that.I don't care the results and so on.I'm just doing what i can.
Indeed,the forceness of me to accept that kind of words to ease myself are so showed up,ain't i?
Yeah,i know,say whatever you want.
I indeed feeling a bit calm,after those long talk with her.I just have to be grateful ,at least there's one or two person that totally understand me.Yes,i have to open my eyes and just accept thing,and pray to god.
He's just all the mighty.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
It's not you,it's not me.
I'm tired of this,i'm tired of feeling numb again and again.
I speak in my mind,closing my eyes ,tried to hold the tears from welling up.My friend just a desk before me,chattering and talking.Unknowingly realized me,i took a pen and a blank paper and vomited my emotion on it.I scratched it,scratched vigorously,and tore them to pieces helplessly.
I felt helpless.
All those stares and judges that the foolish people have ever existed squeezing me ,tore me into pieces.Is it not enough with my life that's torturing,why are you adding the flavour?!Please leave me alone.I'm just sick of you talking back at me,cursing me on my artbook.Don't you had enough torturing me with you're rubbish society.What a low-minded you ever have.Isnt it not enough that my mom force me to adapted this kind of place ,this kind of society.I didnt ever disturb you;re freaking life.Please leave me fucking alone.
God,if i known this ,i wish i've never been born at all.I always escaped from reality by sleeping,it makes me calm.But little did i know,it have been better if i never woke up ,just drown into those dreamy dream and after the lullaby sang.And had never woke to face those people,those tiring unsincere days.Never felt faithless and lost under the surface.
I speak in my mind,closing my eyes ,tried to hold the tears from welling up.My friend just a desk before me,chattering and talking.Unknowingly realized me,i took a pen and a blank paper and vomited my emotion on it.I scratched it,scratched vigorously,and tore them to pieces helplessly.
I felt helpless.
All those stares and judges that the foolish people have ever existed squeezing me ,tore me into pieces.Is it not enough with my life that's torturing,why are you adding the flavour?!Please leave me alone.I'm just sick of you talking back at me,cursing me on my artbook.Don't you had enough torturing me with you're rubbish society.What a low-minded you ever have.Isnt it not enough that my mom force me to adapted this kind of place ,this kind of society.I didnt ever disturb you;re freaking life.Please leave me fucking alone.
God,if i known this ,i wish i've never been born at all.I always escaped from reality by sleeping,it makes me calm.But little did i know,it have been better if i never woke up ,just drown into those dreamy dream and after the lullaby sang.And had never woke to face those people,those tiring unsincere days.Never felt faithless and lost under the surface.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
owh sweet sweet exams =.=
The greatest bom atom Hiroshima is hitting with tension wildly,confused,and disoriented.Final exams coming like 2 weeks more.I bearly didnt know anything,as the noise in the class that's driving the wrong attention instead of the teacher,the great sleepiness i hardly bear, and the feeling of reject for focusing really make my interest go dim.
I hardly recognize im actually wake nowadays,i slept a lot and found myself woke up at 4 am.But somehow,the tempting of the computer and the guitar educe me out.
My actual close friend at school,keep telling me how strange i am compare to the people in this place,this school.She said they are typical,caring their beauty and gossiping.I rather sat in my place,think deeply alone and imagining than join them with their non-upgrading minded,and so i thought.
And also,i didnt understand the stares that he gave me everytime we bump each other,he's just a typical playboy that seeks for lust that is all.
I miss Aida,her cheer laugh and smile that makes my day,the courage that always make me think rasionally.I wonder,in the next 10 years or so ,would we still in this current relationship?I'm not doubting her,but times change us all.
Huuhh-,if this entry column really alive,it must be tired of me whining over 150 post.Those entry i made,most of them are unhappy.I cant go out from that cage,that nest that trapped me down,yes reality sometimes can be tiring.Will there be any of the opposite one of it,someday,somehow?
I hardly recognize im actually wake nowadays,i slept a lot and found myself woke up at 4 am.But somehow,the tempting of the computer and the guitar educe me out.
My actual close friend at school,keep telling me how strange i am compare to the people in this place,this school.She said they are typical,caring their beauty and gossiping.I rather sat in my place,think deeply alone and imagining than join them with their non-upgrading minded,and so i thought.
And also,i didnt understand the stares that he gave me everytime we bump each other,he's just a typical playboy that seeks for lust that is all.
I miss Aida,her cheer laugh and smile that makes my day,the courage that always make me think rasionally.I wonder,in the next 10 years or so ,would we still in this current relationship?I'm not doubting her,but times change us all.
Huuhh-,if this entry column really alive,it must be tired of me whining over 150 post.Those entry i made,most of them are unhappy.I cant go out from that cage,that nest that trapped me down,yes reality sometimes can be tiring.Will there be any of the opposite one of it,someday,somehow?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
hmm,what a punishment.
"No internet after midnight!".
She slamed the door hard letting me stoned and numb staring the checkered floor and sighed deeply.She choose the stern action over me.Jeez.
And so i've been cared with full discipline because of my no-sleep-onlining amnesia.I dont like to be control though.But wht else cn i do?
Going to school with typical mood,and typical situation ,and typical people.My friend for a sudden storied about death and world ends,and it totally make my hair stand.Frankly,i dont want to die.
Even if i hate my reality,i dont want to feel the painful of the separating soul and body,and have to go through all alone.And the punishment for the sin that i have done.I cnt let go my enermous fear of it.
:] cool.
She slamed the door hard letting me stoned and numb staring the checkered floor and sighed deeply.She choose the stern action over me.Jeez.
And so i've been cared with full discipline because of my no-sleep-onlining amnesia.I dont like to be control though.But wht else cn i do?
Going to school with typical mood,and typical situation ,and typical people.My friend for a sudden storied about death and world ends,and it totally make my hair stand.Frankly,i dont want to die.
Even if i hate my reality,i dont want to feel the painful of the separating soul and body,and have to go through all alone.And the punishment for the sin that i have done.I cnt let go my enermous fear of it.
:] cool.
Monday, October 19, 2009
street performance
YUI-街頭演唱Feel My Soul @ Yahoo! Video
YUI-街頭演唱Free Bird @ Yahoo! Video
I'm wondering where could i perform on street around PJ/KL,i really want to try though.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
hmmmm.
I dnt know why lately,people came to me and tell their problem.I dont mind instead im glad to be a listener.I guess that's why i'm interested to be a psychologist.
Nothing much story,went to Aida's place playing her old toys,Barbie.Haha.Went dinner ,i cant believe i ate a lot.
Nothing much story,went to Aida's place playing her old toys,Barbie.Haha.Went dinner ,i cant believe i ate a lot.
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