i'm not borned for Science .Dammit.

Today got exam Science.It's a shame but i'm crying for the first time in school.I study and study but the effort go to waste.And Sejarah,well alhamdulilah i can make it.But Science i think i failed them eventhough it's not that hard but my mind went blank when i do it.And i'm the last person to send the paper.And i'm the first person to be checked at the same time at the test.Well to be shorten,everyone looked Cikgu Sani checking my test.And everyone looked at me and saying "youve got many wrongs ,i think you failed them".Well,a normal person can be stressed because it's a shame thing.So i felt so deppressed and just let it out.But i'm not crying hard.Just like less than five minute.Thanks to Mimi,Aini and Akma cuz comforted me eventhough i dont need it.
I dont know whats wrong with ___ now,i dont hate her,but just sometimes i'm kinda annoyed by her attitude.She just doesnt understand me.But still i'm being hypocrite again,i just acted like it's nothing wrong.

Whatever.So what if i failed Science ?.I'm not borned for them.But i'm really dumb to mistaked the part of the tongue.I just can't figured out salty and the sweet part of the tongue.
Tmorrow,i've got to follow mama to Melaka.Eventhough i didnt want because in Saturday ,i've got Taekwando and tomorrow i got English test.But i've to go,mama been forcing me.My test isnt finished 100% yet.Math and English is not done yet.Well,to be honest i dont really care what my result looks like.I'm dumb,and it's the fact.I can change it no more.

My connection sometimes failed.I dont know whts wrong with wiimax.Stuupid.Maintenance in the middle of the night where i always using internet?You must be kidding me.I really missed Aida for sure.I somekind need her,it's a shame for us to be in a different school.And in fact,i'm going to moving.Why my fate is going to be like this?And to be honest,i'm no good at new people.They are just i dont know doesnt seem to understand me and think that i'm a total freak.I bet they would think like that.Because i cant be friendly and cant introduce myself like "Hai.Nama saya Khairunnisa,nama awk?".I really really can't do that,forgive me for being borned like this but i really don't.Instead of being like that i always like "Ah?Urr?" and just like that and *nods* * nods*.



And i'm not being an emo.I'm being like this for a reason.Just dont judge me when you dont even know me.
I'm Out.

huhhh.

So it has been confirmed.I will be moving this June.I dont know what to say.I'm not happy nor i'm not sad.I just dont know what to say anymore.Yeah,i'm feelisg so damn down right now.

My test are going to start next week at Monday.And i'm not studying anything yet.Yeah,i'm not studying anything.Gaaah,i'm so useless.My english are getting broken day by day.I dont know why.My grammar is really sucks.An i'm getting lazier day by day.Aahh,what do i'm good at anyway?I dont have that such talent in music,i'm not at guitar completely yet.I can't do like lead guitar and can't play so heavenly good yet.That's because i dont have time because of the fuckin' school and i dont have anyone to teach me.I wanted so badly to enter music class to sharpen my skill.But yet,i cant.Because of my parents money condition.I'm nothing but a clueless,useless person.

I dont know whts with my friend lately.She always scold me because i always asked her wht the teacher said.I know,i'm a blur person.But please be nice to me.If you hate me then dont talk to me again.I'm a bit frustated with that.But i'm an easy person so i dont mind and just forget about it.Well,whatever.It's useless for a friend to not understand me.I dont care,i dont care.

Everyday,i go to school feeling blank.Sometimes,i dont finish my homework and in the end got scolded by teacher.And i felt irritated seeing people.Sometimes people in my class always like insult me whenever i tried to speak english.I mean,whts wrong with that?I think they see me like "whts up with this malay girl trying to speak english?".Yeah,i know wht they think.And they must thought that i'm nothing but a typical malay girl tht wear tudung.I mean,i'm not hating the tudung part.But i hate they see me like those malay yg pakai tudung but perangai mcm rempit.You know wht i mean?I felt so you know terhina?Yea,i meant that.Alright,alright i know my english is soo not damn well.Because i rarely spoke,because when i spoke they comment me.Instead,of speaking i always write blog,reading novel,reading manga scan in english.At least,i put effort.Not like their narrow minded people.At least,i try ok?

I've been thinking,i really serious with my goal eventhough i'm not so talented.But i really have a deep passion in it.I mean,i can do anything just for enter any of music school.But i'm worried,if i take music course,my chance in carrier is soo little.Like 2%.And do my mom allowed me?The answer is NO. And my mom thought me i want to reach money and famous.Like those fake celebrity out there.I'm not reaching for that.I feel the music.And if i given a chance,i want to be in orchestra though i just know to play a guitar.

Nobody understand me.Tough,life is tough.
I'm out.

tough day.

Many things has happen today.Am i not owned to be in school.Am i that freak much that i treated this way?!

I dont know what's wrong with the fuckin' people today.My classmates can't stop insulting though i'm not bothering their life.But,what did i do wrong that they treated me like this.I feel like want to spite to their face and i will be SO satisfied.And the fuckin' teacher herself.I just throw some a tiny paper to Meor who always insult me.And the paper fall to the ground and i was about to picked it up and throw because i know it was unresponsible if i didnt do so.And i was just to do that,and the stupid Thanasri keling like "Sapa yg buang sampah tu bangun".I was like bangun jelahkan sbb at that time i want to pick the rubbish.And she asked me to go in front.And she scolded me like i'm doing a big crime.I was like what the heck was that?.And evryone in class looking at me like i've kill someone.
Is that fair?Fuckin' not right?

And when agama time,i wanted to sit at beside Aini,but Amirah menyebok there.And i've got no place so i just sitlaa at the back of the class where there was no girls at all and like just mcm terpinggir.And the fuckin' boy Mustaqim babi tu.Non stop talking "emo,emo".And he comment me out of nowhere that i'm uglylaa,and no boyfriend.I was like what the fuck asshole are you fuckin' talking about.I'm not being emo because i wanted to.You fuckin' ugly face that thinks he is soo good looking.Goshh,and the boys sit around my place joined that mustaqim to insulted me and no girls pity me and nobody protected me.I feel i want to break free from that fuckin' school.
I'm sick of this,i'm sick of this,i'm sick of this.I HATE THIS!!!

My penilaian 1 is going to start next week and i'm not studying yet.I'm so happy about this.Oh,fuck.

I'm out.

horror fairy tale..?

Gosh.I'm so thrilled by just watching Hansel and Gretel.I know,it doesnt sound thrilled at all.But believe me,the story really test psycology.And the story is about a guy who on the way to hospital and got accident and fainted.When he opened his eyes,there was this girl offered him to stay for a night because it's really dark.So she take him to her house where located at a very,very deep forest where there was no coverage and just like Segi Tiga Bermuda.So mysterious.And he tried to find the way out from the jungle.But he end up at the same place.And okay,i'm not wactching yet the next part.Gosh the movie really gives me the creep.And it always play my mind for what are gonna happenned,what the hell are the place something like that.The story is soo dark.Yet interesting.

So,today when to Shah Alam and i've got to buy a capo for my guitar and a guitar strap.I try to used the capo and it turned well.But,when i tried to put it on,my first string broke.Gooosh.I'll buy the string later.

Ok,i'm gonna continue watching the story.Jaa~

Animefreak :3,
Icha Yoshioka.

gaaah ---

In the end,i didnt go to school because i watched boys over flower korean version until morning.And as i just said,i'm a night person.And i didnt get to hand the chocolate to Shen Huann,I'm not fully liking him yet. So , maybe next time.
I couldnt get enough watching that drama cuz the guy is too damn hot.He looks like Kimura Takuya in Korean version.

And so,i get up at evening as always i do on weekends.went to the usual place usual like i've always do with her and i told her my secret and she told me her's.I guess i dont owe her anything again.I'm relieved,yes.It will be so fake if i dont tell her, afterall i've been friending with her almost like 4 years now.

My mom buy some kind of eye medicine to reduce power.But it's for my brother;Wafi because he will interview to be a pilot and since the job prohibited glasses.But i kinda envy him because he gets motor-scooter and a expensive watch and the eye liquid.I'M SO ENVIOUS.This is just isnt fair.

Mama have been talking a lot about the moving.Though,she planned on this June.I'm so gonna miss here for sure.And i might have a problem with making friends since i'm not that friendly.Gooosh,please tell me this isnt gonna be sure.And i maybe have to stuck there like 2 years.But i've been thinking,i really have a chance to go music classes , and do what i want in school.Because i'm in the new school and i have a chance not to hypocrite anymore for some reason.I could be myself,because i've being a different person in my current school.I just dont like it,and i cant fix it.

Ok,continue watching drama and anime.
Jaa~

Animefreak :3,
Icha Yoshioka.

clouds of grey.

Hello.

Today,was quite usual.I saw Shen Huan today,he attend for the Kinabalu practice.My girls classmate like call me "icha,icha!" when they saw him.And they like walking in front of Shen Huan,but i dont follow them;instead i go another way..Because i dont have guts.I know,you may get pissed of me because being a coward .But to think of it,i dont really ready for this kind of thing.Eventhough,i'm already older.I just needed time for this.

I'm reading Cat street , i already completed reading Shinigami Lovers.Yeah,happy ending again.Sometimes ,i kinda bored with the shoujo like.Because the plot is same.Owh well,and in the end the bishonen guy got to be the main character's boyfriend.Ok whatever.

Review from the Cat Street , the story is great.Not so shoujo like ;more to people's life.It's the same like my life.It tell young people that facing reality,facing the society etc.I mean,what's wrong doing what we like?Does the people have right to comment us?It goes the same with me.Sometimes i' m being a hypocrite just for the sake of people's mouth.And i have a dream,that is to be a singer-songwriter.Because of their young and naiveness ;they afraid to face the outside world.Well,they are just like me.But yeah,i dont really have destination in my life.

Ok,i talked to much.Got to go.Still got homework to do.
Jaa~

Animefreak :3,
Icha Yoshioka.

my dullness day started again.

My homework isnt finished yet.My scrapbook isnt wrapped yet.Ouuuhhh~.Just great.I dont know if i have a chess or not tomorrow.Whatever,i dont give a damn just for the stupid game.
Tomorrow are going to start school.Why is the holiday damn short?!arggghh.My exams are going to start either end of this month or next month.

I guess it's really laate already.I slept at 9 pm and woke up at 12.And i cant sleep again.I guess i'll be sleeping in class if i keep going like this.Nothing happen today,in evening i go to the shop i went with aida yesterday.And the cashier still knowing me .I guess i always go to the shop that he knows me.Whatever.No big of deal actually.I want to continue my shinigami lovers and i want to do my homework.

Jaa~

Animefreak :3,
Icha Yoshioka.

messy hair.

So today was weekends and i dont do anything much.Woke up at 4 in evening when Dalilah called me.And went out like usual with Aida ,and i brought guitar along just to play at outside.I just thought it was so breezy at padang so i hung out with Aida while playing the guitar.

And went to Giant mall.I like zillion time go there,but i have to.Met up with Eunice and we talked a bit.And she asked about study,i was like uhh,no idea since she is a top student and i'm a loser.So like i dont have any idea.Went dinner at some restaurant and i saw an irrirated group that thinks they're hot.Ugghh.Mama busy planning for the move out to Melaka.I'm not ready yet!I dont have friends at all!!And i hardly found a anime supply there.And there's no way will be having an anime fest.Arghhh,i hate this.And plus,i will be soo damn missing Aida.She's the greatest best friend i've ever have .Ouchh.Destiny isnt being fair.

Yesterday,went to KL.Saw some street musician at Bukit Bintang,i was just seeing through car windows ,i really want to go there seeing people but my parents there's a lot of bad people there.I just want to see how the street musician looks like.Dinner some restaurant yesterday and this guy came and singing with the guitar.I was like this is so unusual.He came out of nowhere.And he seems to seek money.Owh well.But he has talent though.Why dont he go to some audition instead?.Whatever.

Been reading Shinigami Lovers ,damn it.The guy is smokin' hot;he looks Kaname.And he is shinigami.I'm so shoujo head.But i'm not a jiwang.My homework didnt finish yet.Oww,why must have homework in this bloody hell short holiday.What the F-ffishh?!!

Jaa~

Animefreak :3,
Icha Yoshioka.

I got no money in my pocket.

konnichiwa.

So today was hurmm like usual.I went to ERT club activity,we cooked.Nisyalini cooked great,and she's nice for an indian girl of course.Laila was actually nice to me and Alissa is just too polite to me, i kinda felt guilty fo some times.Well,my classmate are okay but if some of them pissed me off.I said what i want to say straight away.No hesitation.


Abah came home just like yesterday ,and of course will be going back again to Melaka.Mama planned to move to Melaka.Aww,i dont want.I mean i'm a hard- to- get- a- friend type of person.And i dont want to leave my friends.Especially Aida,she will be sad if i'm going.But it's not confirm yet.I maybe go or maybe dont.Idk.A few days ago,i said hi to Shen Huan,i thought i really achieved but not -.-.That was the time when i follow Laila and Alissa to pray and we met at the stairs and he happen to know Laila .I dont know what's wrong with me and i said hi too loud and i run.I'm so so so dumb.I'm really no good at love,i guess.I remember when first i like someone and i have to 1 or 2 years to forget him.And he happens to like me for some reason.But at that time,i was ultra-shock with this kinda thing and i really was confused.So,it turns zero without any of my effort.Haaa~~.Life is tough.



I've become a new fan of Yuna.Well,she's create a heavenly rhythm of music.And she's actually wearing tudung.At least,she is brave to be herself.And she has some kind of aura to make me her fan.Her father is a musician,no wonder she has a talent fron her genes.This is my first time,making some of malay artist my idol,so yeah.These kind of artist needed more in industry music of malaysia. Not like that Mawi shit that makes shits auras .

Oh and yeah;talk about my life,i dont know lately.I've been layan-ing my feelings a lot.I mean,i was wondered what i'm gonna be in future.Who the guy i married for.Some kind of like that.And death as well ,without family;friends that support me.It's rather sad.And i've been crying for that.To think that i've been doing wrong things that maybe god will punish me.Who knows?Is this the cycle of life?What if the world will end soon,i dont get to feel being in a relationship.And my passionate for music grow stronger day by day,and to know that i will not achieve them.This is too sad,too sad.What's wrong with me??!!I've been so emo lately.Please save me from my cracked mind.

And oh yeah ,

Happy Birthday U-know !!!
I'm glad that i'm one of your fans,even i'm not so so big fan of yours.But yeah,may your dreams come true <3.

Animefreak :3,
Icha Yoshioka.