Seventeen.

Young bloods raging like meteor. Desire is incapably loud. I'm an angsts.

Waiting for non existence excitement to come is like waiting for a money drops on your lap. My desire lately is too loud it's unbearable. I want to scream and shout on top of my lung , eargasm musics just dances through the universe. I want to feel sunshine on my skin , I want to meet new faces, go to places I never went. Unfammiliar places and unfammiliar faces. I want the world. I fucking hate limitations. It's like a big tentacles or a three eyes zombie. It's sticking in your life like a fucking glue. Sticky and difficult. It's unavoidable really, teen angst. I am an angst.

So high school  is over hah. What next

A good cry

When everything is unheard, I only had this blog and this blog alone.
It's not the same like telling to someone, because they never vision themselves in my position, or just shrug at it telling it would all be fine. I wish they were true all they way but I'm still in darkness or so what I thought.
Since the most important person in my life had the most important stuff to worry about in the back of their mind, I'm just insignificant nano-problem to them.
And that feeling just let out pain in your throat. I stumble upon darkness and I'm so lost determining my future, let alone thinking I just screwed up the biggest important exam in my whole life.
I'm a piece of fucking cake. I stumble upon myself in the mirror and cursed "You're a fucking crybaby cunt". I mean I'm seventeen , people had their direction planned out and support from the love one. I only had this blog.A goddamn blog.

A sad story.

" I read your blog" -said no one

Galaksi

Aku pernah tenung bulan atau bintang dan melupakan masa depan. Aku tak pernah ada masa depan, aku pernah ada ke?Aku jenguk sebentar ke alam galaksi untuk mengkaji ruang dan batas sebab realiti semakin sempit dan lemas.Dan malaikat menari nari atas otomobil menghiasi cakerawala.
"Kau tak perlu jadi gila atau hisap ganja untuk dapatkan imaginasi, Fatimah" kata Comel ,seekor kucing Persian kepada tuannya.Tiba tiba , realiti menjadi selari dan hierarki tidak pula wujud.
Hapuskan sahaja perang dingin dan blok dunia, politik adalah picisan ketawa.

Aku taktahu, aku bercelaru . aku buntu. Pecah sahaja jamnya biar ia berhenti berdetik. Benda tu buat aku tak boleh tidur malam kerana setiap detik adalah bagai segorombolan zombi yang mengejarku.Aku rimas, aku mahu buang semua jam dalam bilik aku.
Entahlah, minda aku bersenggama mungkin. Dengan ideologi yang pelik. Aku seorang yang pelik.Tapi aku normal, aku rasa. Kau rasa?

Quit these pretentious things, and just punch the clock

This saying may be infamous and unpopular since my condition really chokes out failure in every sense but..
I really want to travel the world.
Hah. There you go , go on laughing, ha-ha.

I don't like to think about things I'm uncertain of , like my future.I'm already tired to say I'm lost, because I already am and I'm used to it, it lives in my vines now and then. Sleepless and dreamless nights also will not help other than having conversation with myself in the dark , in my head. I just see uncertainties like my favourite pen, it sometimes around and sometimes not.So I just make-believe that I lives with it , and eventually will stay somewhere or somewhat.

Whether I will mingle in the pitch black or just plain brightness. Whoever knows?
I just want to discover new things and accept whatever adversities.

We run away, but we don't know why,