I swear I will be in a deepshit this Friday. And so , I didnt even prepare my speech yet .

A song for the sun

26th March . Happy 24th Birthday YUIsama.

I remember when I first heard of your song ,Life, the way you break the crowd in that massive town and the way you stared at the clouds ,it gives me a piece of your strength somehow.

I wouldnt know the true beauty of music without knowing you.

I found out that piano is such an enchanted instrument.The symbolism of sorrow and clarity really caught me , I craved for it honestly. But I never affords it .

It seems that my dream is far away , far away even my eyes can't caught the sight of it. Blurred in total confusion. There are invinsible walls in my reality , caught up with the same perception , my conditions stop me .I want to be heard honestly ,but it seems that my voice is inaudible .It's like I'm just an outcast in a particular film. I'm almost sick with people's echo ,that's like a wave stuck in my head .But when I turn my back on them ,guiltness possessed me.

There's a time of the month when I had my PMS and everybody seems hateful .and everything seems apocalyptic.

I laughed too much , am I changing into something I'm not? I'm concealing everything , justifying myself .
Coldplay's music bringing my mind into the depth of ecstasy , it makes me taste what fearless feels like ,making me want to run on an open track ,running my life out without any care.

Homeworks untouched .There goes myself , lying in a bed stucked with tonsil's fever.
Indonesia's trip was fine , learn how to be grateful eventually.

When people opened up topic about love , I was like "what is love? Is that some kind of food ? " and laughed myself out, alone. Well to be exact , I love myself more ,mighty Allah and my parents .it's not worth it to pour down the strong feelings to such person that in the end will eventually litter it away . But in the end , I'm just a clueless teenager who don't really know what love is.

I just got lost ,every river that I tried to cross.

can i take you ,take you higher?

My life went so fast .Full of acceleration and momentum (there goes my Physics -.-), and I tried ,tried so hard to follow the flow that brings me God-knows-where . It's been so fast,exhilarating with great energy, that I can't really understand what I'm going through. And how bitter to swallow the fact that I failed 2 subjects and gets a B on my English.

Separations and tears are a part of what it is now . I'm almost immuned to that , that's why I'm not really affected . Meeting in the same direction but splits on the corner of the road , it's a cycle of life really .So I don't see why I have to shred tears.That salty yucky liquid that runs down from my cornea.It's disgusting, and it brings pain to my entire soul , pours down my misery and chocked down my motivation. So I don't need them when afterall all it does is taking away my liveliness.

*what happened to me? all this positiveness 0.0 but afterall im sure this wont last long ,knowing who i am.this is creepy seriously.. lol

She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway.

I swear.