I'm at cc right now,curretly waiting for my friend that i dont know where she is.Seriously,i'm alone right now.Arghh,so this is how it feels like to go to cc.So unprivacy,i cant open the page i like because it's so --open.I better leave like 1 hour later.

My marks gone pretty bad.But pheew,at least i got one a's,that is English.And the worst mark i get is like 55 for History.I dont care,the probably see me as a smart kid just because i'm from KL.So like whatever.

I'm pretty used to alone right now,cuz i totally alone at school.Eventhough i have several friends but i cant trust them deeply.Cuz they might stab me from the back.

okay,i'm out of here.

KHAIRUNNISA.

what have i done wrong?

I'm in KJ right now.I desperately want to meet my friend,but they cant for some reason.I tried to call Aida,but she's nowhere.I find other inisiative to meet my friend here before i went back at 2 pm today,and it's 12 pm right now.I called Aini asking her to meet me at the wireless cafe,just asking,but again she can't.I tried to called Aidil instead,nobody answer.Haaish,am i that lonely?

I argue with my mother for countless time now.I'm so damned frustrated until i locked myself in my bedroom for a night.My mom's being unfair with my little damned brother,and i'm still not owned my internet yet.I've waited like 2 fuckin months and she said,there's credit card hanged or whatever financial problem.But she still buying new handphones.I want to stay here longer,buy my father nowadays have been pretty busy.Nobody notices what i want.Am i invicible?

Who am i to talk to?I cant contact Aida,because i cant talk longer because my mom scolded me for the bill and the broadband cant work because the coverage there.I'm like living in a thick jungle,cant contact anyone,no coverage.I'm so freaking lonely that i cried countless time.

My test went pretty messed up.There's cheating everywhere,and i felt kinda unfair with that.But they still asked me the answer as if i'm the smartest kid in the world.Okay whatever,as long as i get an A for English.

Sometimes i fake a smile at school,i do make some friends,but i think they are well fake?I tried to storied my problem in my life,and they get bored and change topic.I think they dont understand what my heart going through.And i for a sudden being a girl with few words lately.I kept my problem my loeneliness and my rebellious deep inside of my heart.Because nobody understand me.And for 7 hours of school a day,i went my day pretty dull,grey and bored.A day after another.What a life i'm leading.
I'm not like them,they willing to go along with their life under a rock.They used to follow their boat of life.But me,i have this rebellious heart,i want freedom,i dont want to tie myself up with rules and harsh of reality






Someone,please give me air to breathe.

sophisticated.

I'm surfing at my cousin's house.They make a mini birthday party that involves only relatives.I will be back today,at night.I still got pile of homework to do and cant make it for a day.Still,i've got to make it,if not the teacher will complain to my mother that i'm such a lazy bum.So that's it,i dont have much to say.I just want to continue what i usually do,reading manga scan.

KHAIRUNNISA.

prejudice much?

I should have upload this long ago,but i didnt have a chance.But as far as i knew,my voice sounds childish-like,i didnt know it was this childish.And i dont have a high pitch voice,i cant reach.

Well,i do feel like a real home in my old house,in Kelana Jaya.It was full of memories.The time that i remembered up until know is,when my maid run away from home.And i was alone ,my family goes to Johor or something.And i end up staying up in Aida's place.That was nostalgic.And the most remembered is the time when my grandma is alive ,i can still feel her present up until now.I dont want to go back,it was so pain in the ass living there,you know where right.When i think about it,when i read again my old entries,i shouldnt have whine ,complain so much right?If i knew ,i wouldnt have said that "my life sucks",every per entry,cuz compare to my life right now.It's a true misery.
I didnt get to see my friend this weekend,i was really hoping though.Cuz i will be back only once in a month.Aida busy with her family business,my old classmate ,i dont know maybe they were busy.Mama as usual didnt much notice me.except for kaktin,wafi,kaktin,wafi,kaktin , wafi.And i'm just like this.Shouting,screaming,sighing in my blog.Am i invicible?

i chat with my only internet guy currently,he was in a hard time.I understand you.And i'm sorry if you realize that i dont giving advice to you,not because i dont want,it's because i dont know what to say.As i say,i'm pretty much listener.So just do yor bestest and accept whatever God's give you the result for SPM.Wishing you a best of luck

Gone watching cinemas;Ice Age.It was pretty cool.I wanted to watch Blood the last vampire though,but it's 18 pl.I wanted to watch so much because it was a live action anime.So what reason i have more?I have watched the anime version though,on Animax last year.Pretty awesome.I'll just have to wait for the DVD.
Began to obsessed with Blogger Boy series.It's a local drama.I dont expected it have something to do with manga.I didnt know that there several people that willing to make a movie about a guy who draw manga secretly ,infact it was in Malaysia.Pretty cool ,huh?The music is pretty awesome too i guess.Itstill airing in 8tv.

I dont know why lately,i never missed typing michael jackon on the search engine.I'm so so curious and obsessed by this mysterious yet kind hearted man.I really wish he was Muslim and buried as muslim.My mom and relative cant stop talking about that.And i just heard the song You're Not Alone,i cried imagine that he was living a hard life.He could make a song about world,races and people.Extraordinary.Not like other artist that makes music involving sex.

KHAIRUNNISA.

My life completely turns into darkness.

Maybe,just maybe this entry will be the longest entry ever.

I just surf internet for the first time in 1 month.There's no internet there,so i just stuck in my dull life.And i realized that i have turned into a very emosional person.Or maybe sensitive.
The surrounding,the people,the way they think,the way they speak,the culture and type of people is very extremely different.
My heart fell somber,i'm so lonely like i'm the only person in this world.No one will understand what i go through like there.And i somehow cant get contact with Aida.The first week was hard for me.I cry myself to sleep everyday.I dont want to say much,but the conclusion is i'm lonely ,and i hated here.That's it.

I dont have friends,yes i dont.I walk alone,i eat alone,i walk to library alone.And people stares at me,gawking at me,as if i am impregnant an illegal child or something.Yes,i know that i'm from town and KL and whatsortever.But why do they have to stare at me like that?And i really fucking hate at my classmates,especially the bitches.And one of them ,tried to pick a fight with me,and i do reply with harsh words.I dont fucking care.And guess wht?they have a really really lame group that tried to attract attention,whom they called themselves "7 style" ,but to me,they are more to "7 shit".

My mom teached at the same school,and will bringing pressure to me.It was morning session,i'm really not used to it,and i slept in class.Uh huh,i dont care tht i'm a daughter of a teacher or anything.I'm really tired of my life.At least in my old school,i have a reason to go to school,that is enjoying my school life with my friend.But now,my day as dull as grey,i'm like a robot ,go to school,return home with a pile of homework,sleep,do homework,watching tv,and sleep.I'm totally clueless.

I see everyones with laughter and smile,but me i'm just accompanied by my loneliness.And i met this girl named Nabilah,she's ok.Eventhough i dont think that she understand much of me.Eventhough i do have her,but i cant 100% depend on her.She's nice of course,but she doesnt undertans wht i'm going through.I dont know.And she is not with me all the time.

I received a form for prefects candidates because of course with my status 'daughter of a teacher'.But i deny it.I dont want to involve with my mom in school,but i have
to.Every teachers know me,half of them.That really make me feel uneasy.And boys from other class always asking me,are you teacher mazita's daughter?I'm totally fed up with that question.And the second question is;where i am from?.And they expect me that i will be smart with all that reason.I'm totally opposite.And this so called 'popular guy',like ask me in a annoying way 'boleh berkenalan?/can i know you',well i suppose that line is meant for flirting.But i dont answer one of his question,i just stare him weirdly and slackly,like i'd seen something horrible.He must be fed up.Haah-!serve your right.

And guess wht?I got the last number in my class;old school.I dont take 3 or 4 papers,and of course i got zero for tht.I cant fixed tht back,my grandma died just as the same week as the exam operation.And i only get like 1 a's only that is Agama.I dont want to talk about it cuz it's not my fault that i get last,i have reason.

Maybe everyone knew this that of course the king of pop die.I dont know him much,until 25 Jun.The world talks about him.And i've seen his memorial,and i do cried.I'm so confused,while he still alive,his brightness as a star is so almost dark,when his death time people just started to search him everywhere in internet.But i do think,he's a good person.Dont judge a book by its cover.

So tht's it,i dont know until when i can post entry again.Maybe like 2 weeks later.Till then

KHAIRUNNISA.