words to words.

I heard these people expressing with all thier sanity from a piece of paper,from a couple of a stanza.I watched in impressed to all of their words eventhough my family giggled for their overexpression.Pfft,but i kept my straight face ,focusing their words.I even saw the famous poet that is A Samad Said which totally remind me of his poem The Dead Crow.

When a simple looking girl dressed in a kebaya delivered her poem,my heart fainted and im feeling totally crushed.I wonder who she is that somehow could touched my heart.
And yeah,she almost cried,maybe her life experience at the same time replay back in her mind.

I fell in love with this women,her music and soul-heartedness.She's more like a Bob Dylan type,a girl version maybe .Beautiful:)

I paced my my little hand on the green gras that's lying on the soil earth,blocking the sun that shone on my face.Sitting timidly while hugging my two legs in the majority of the student bond.I'm lost in my own thought while gazing to my school shoes,until the teacher pulled out the name to run the 500 meter.

I'm actually afraid to my own future that still will mingled on me.Cowardness still wont washed away within me.

air.

I'm so tired with my life,i wanted to escape this damn reality.

freeeedoooommm---

"Give back my freedom,damn"

I muttered myself as i cupped my hand on my face,resisting the boredom that's meander in myself. The acoustic song plays numerously again and again with it's lullabyness.
There's a book arranged accordingly on my desk,waiting to be finished,but this owner here, is stuck in front of computer,can't get enough from this wide internet access,my diary.
I have a stupid exam next week to test ability bla bla bla,it's clearly shown isnt it?i almost fail on that subject ,i dont have enstein brain anyway,and it so damn early.
Oh and i'm here stuck in the corner of the world.

I should stop being permissive,and started to open the page of Quran that I have left for a period of time,to stop the chaos in me.

I have figure out a bit of the chords in my own very first song,but i still not writing the verse and the intro yet.I never expected writing songs is kind of hard.

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind
Possessing and caressing me
Jai guru deva om

Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes
That call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box
They tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe
Jai guru deva om

Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Sounds of laughter shades of earth are ringing
Through my open ears inciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which shines around me
Like a million suns, it calls me on and on across the universe
Jai guru deva om

Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Jai guru deva om, Jai guru deva om
Jai guru deva om, Jai guru deva om
Jai guru dea va om

Jai guru deva om
Jai guru deva om

Sneaking my time ,that is bounded and finited.I should let my eyelid closed now,to let my system off .But the urge had forced me to write something that is about to explode any second,it's good to let it out than talking all dissatisfy things that had kept in myself than talking while crying with my own self before sleeping.
I'm so complex,i dont want to be emo,but i kept twisted things and argued with my own self conflicted,or the whisper of my innerself,i tried to push it with all the energy i've got.
There,i talked crap again.Damn -.-

________________________________________

I fake a lot,i dont know how many smiled i have force my lips to curved it,no it does not reach my eyes.That laugh doesnt mean a thing.
Why..?why can't i laugh whole-heartedly?It's not their fault,it's freaking me.
Get off me you little emo-self that's stuck inside me,
come out wherever you are,i want my strength back.

stealing.

The sound of guitar and drum breaks my ear as i walk through the pack of musicians,creating tone in the tiny jamming studio
It's cool however ,to let an hour for my own space,as my life is packed like a sardine in a can.
My music teacher talks about his life and the journey,i was inspired and yes,i want to make my own songin the near future.Up until now,i can't believe he's married.

http://www.myspace.com/zabelyong

Translucent

I walked through by the hall and glance with blank expression at myself reflected at the hall's window,as I heard the bird's chirp as I watched my slow pace ,moving following the tick of watch that stick still on my right hand.
"It's far better if i'm alive in online mode rather than staying offline"
The thought came across and almost pungent in my mind.I shook my head,knocked myself to face the reality that entwine and entice me.

Here I am,gripping my white guitar pick drowning myself on the bed with my school uniform and wishing to not seen by my mom with my not bathing-self-yet.

Hmmm,i know you can see through my emotions like a clear glass.I have told you with all my guts,words inside my head.I just dont want you fall into a deep hole of regret,because my love feeling is almost invincible,like a translucent air.I do love you in different aspect and kind,and wished to just stay like this position where i'm comfortable and hold a free-mind as i indulge on our conversation.

while my guitar gently weeps.

This is my moment,sitting in front of computer with still in my school uniform and holding my guitar,picking the romance de amour endlessly and sigh to my deepest throat.
My days went repeatedly,where every second in the class,i heard 8as from teacher's mouth and my parent brainwashed me with their enthusiastment comparing with my upper siblings.
I felt the time went imperceptibly,unintermitidly,ticking slowly and my obscureness roared within the people,trying to fit myself in the tiny space of them and never streak my true self.
It's shiftless just knowing me by the name starting with the odd K's.

I couldnt be helped,i cant help myself either.This enermous lies and sigh is just too much to carry.

chime.

Ahh,the fireworks booming ,warned me for the next life,where my mother would controlled every of my day with her corner of fingertip,like an owner that's controlling a puppet.Where my days would be set,scheduled.


I shut my eye in front of the monitor,tried to let the illusions appeared slowly in my head.

I can imagine,the first day of nobodyness,as i placed my head down to the floor when i entered the classes full of noise,without knowing the faces i know as i look at the surrounding,sat at the place where the teacher point at.Playing with my hand .Silence absorbing me and melancholic just surround myself.Oh,i can hear they talk about me "the new metropolitan girl" ,as they point their first finger to me.I just pulled an expresionless face even if my heart sobbing,crying silently that only in my body it echoes.
If only he would sat beside at that time,and tell me you're not alone.My heart will instantly go warm after being so cold that it pierce.