Saw pain in a new way.

Ceiling in my room is like a sky with a thousand stars if I put on Across The Universe.Inhale.Exhale. Sometimes solitude hollowed me in such height , leaving me bare with such hideous sorrow. My mind was a shinking ship saccred me with indignity of emotion. My expressions have been a bulletproof all this while. But I'm so fragile like a translucent paper.
You should be greatful to have a healthy mom who you can see her face everyday,and ask about you and stuff like that. I just miss that , like hell I've been missing that

The sun was high so was I

Life is indeed like a bottomless refills of Coke in Mcdonalds.Or something infinity like the existence of days and night and the creation of time that never stops or even more precise is like how much human blinks their eyes in their life.
I am in the floating state of mind.Life without parents for a couple of days is a catastrophe,I left my prayers and I sleep all day like theres no tomorrow and woke up feeling hungry like a zombie. Still having no one to tell you this and that is pretty awesome but turns out to be very dull and directionless.
And for some reason I got depressed around couples.

So like I really can't understand my sleep patterns these days and I'm becoming more lifeless than ever.My family are not around in the house so there's really no one in the house except me.And I'm  so lonely like, literally.
And I  pictured death of my beloved one, in dreams , in everywhere.It's like inhaling flames.

I hate that the fact most of my friends start dating and they leave me.Food you are my only companion...

I am a quitter.All I see is some kind of dead ends and fullstops. Maybe I think there is no amusement in anything.All the interest just falls like the hair of a cancer people going through a chemotherapy.
Chemotherapy has it's own funny way of existing too, it's like love literally. It hurt , hurt , hurt to the very core of pain.And it's stupid how I can't feel the pain and how I can't help anything and let my ear hear all those cries.
And the dreams , how I always thought sleeping and dreaming is the greatest things in this life that God had inhabit us.But I hope I can't sleep at all if I had to have those dreams.Those fucked up emotional dreams.

Experiencing one of live music is the bestest experience.It's worth it , go out and enjoy the blasting music in your head and the neverending blood rushes.All the tiredness on your face must wear off sometimes with a blissful event.I never fammiliar with this strange odd alien feelings inside of me , that raging wildly.I wonder why I always have the feeling of bursting into some kind of particles or atoms,and  break free with the dust.
I was actually seeing One Night Only with my own eye after all this while I streamed them on youtube.I could just ran towards George Craig and hug his marble chest since I was just 100m from him but noo...that would be beyond possible.
Even the crowd was kind of crap and I'm enjoying myself like an idiot ,I could feel some guy giving me a wtf shot .but it was a good start perhaps.
And shit I should take some pictures but I certainly forgot since well I've been jumping and singing like a mad cow.*sigh