It's getting tired and old to rebel with no major positive consequences but only irrelevant destructions to own self and to martyr myself with silence and patience, is winning. And Allah knows best cuz He do not test a soul more than it can bear.

“And God said “Love Your Enemy,” and I obeyed him and loved myself.”
—Khalil Gibran

It's always nightime in my life, always a reversed. Years after years I found myself dreaming and wandering less and less, it's like there are huge walls constricted in the middle.
There are always a void , an empty cell or space in my heart, while I constantly disallow any form of affection that go through within.I thought, the love in front of my eyes are partly disenganged, I began to have a mindset "what's the point?" My life is always a void from any attention, but I'm greatful enough to have a shelter on my head and a 2 times meal to fill my stomach, eventhough there's not much of affection,guidance, any sort. Alhamdulilah, I'm still greatful, as it is.

I'm looking forward for the future, be it a raging sea or a calm pond.