"The guitar's all very well, John, but you'll never make a living out of it"

-Nowhere Boy , John Lennon's early life adaptation film

This picture reminds me of my dad . He's currently servicing the country for as long as I can remember. I remember when he left the family for nearly 2 years to work in Afrika. It was a hard time for my family .

Viewing the future, he will be the person who will fight whenever catastrophe or chaos flooded in this country. He will be mudded with blood and corpses , with riffles and snapes vomiting the bullet.His very own life is perhaps like a gambling dice at that time. Before I knew, his body was stranded in a bloody ground , gasping the air to live , while huffingly saying the kalimah syahadah.

I could not bear the dreadful views. It kills my soul.

Ahem *cough

Aku bersifat liberal kadang kala dan mungkin terlalu keterlaluan. Mungkin itu tabiat aku untuk menegakkan keadilan daripada perspektif aku sendiri. Orang-orang yang hanyalah taksub dengan pendapat mereka sendiri bagaikan mengagungi refleksi wajah mereka sendiri di cermin. Tetapi tabiat aku yang sering gagap dalam sesuatu perbicaraan menghadkan aku untuk terus bersuara. Keyakinan yang terbantut sering menghalang aku untuk menyuarakan keadilan .Seringkali suara aku yang terpendam jauh di lubuk anak tekak ini sering dilimpahkan di atas kertas ataupun blog entri ini yang ternyata sudah usang.Aku mengaku , kadangkala pendapat aku tidak masuk akal atau mungkin jauh dari segi rasional , mungkin kerana aku tidak suka keseriusan dalam melimpahkan idea.

Aku sendiri pun tidak tahu apa kejadah yang aku nyatakan dalam entri ini .

They act like Romans but they dress like Turks

Distortions of the guitar embark, as the raspy voice of Julian Casablancas just echoed following the flow of the music. The drums roaring with magnificience beat . The bass line is probably arranged with such accuracy.There's a glimpse of vintage sound in their music , somewhere in between of the tune, kind of reminds me of the old The Velvet Underground. There's something about Indie , garage-rock music that makes me rage with wild sensation.

Oh.

2.40 am

Pens scattered on the table, unfinished addmath homework just pulling me to the core of fed-up-ness.The sounds of air conditioner and the clock ticking just filled the loneliest place on the planet that is my room. I've got unstabilized hormone , fury in my head just won't go away. I always thought there's a reason behind all this unfairness . I believe , I do.

Probably I have to start running on my own track , eventhough this very own feet is very sore and tired.I should thrive.Despite that words will never overtake my actions. Virtue is high , high up to reach, i'm down below the gravity.

My parents are finally going to Makkah this October.Praise to Allah.

Lesbian moment.

Jasmine Van Den Boegard/Birdy

The anonymous guy in my dream . A beautiful human , probably he is made of from paintings , illusions.Every atoms , molecules, compound of his skin probably meant to sparkle.His skin makes me cry.His beauty is indescribable.

If you want , we can be passionately in love like John and Yoko , Sid and Nancy or maybe Romeo and Juliet . Just let me sure that I'm losing contact with reality first and I'll be meeting you in the garden of paradise.

-___- okay that's hardcore.

Feel your eyes of malice
Like a bullet through my heart
So unkind
Words,
Like gasoline,
Burn a hole into heaven
Then rain down on me
Everything falls apart

-Officially loving the song.

That strange , odd years , where I filled my time directionless , dreaming and drifting.

When I'm on the edge of consciousness , the bubble in my head shattered.

When all those moments become the food of thoughts , it makes me crawl.

Your weird attractiveness is just an accessories

You leave you're very own presence that lingers around my life and the real you just dissapears like a wind. It gave me a slight ache since I never share dreams with anyone.Now I'm surrounded by reality.

Even in a crowded place , hollowed out with the same silicon smile , I clutched with my other-self eventhough they are not in contact. Gripping with the music to stand up again if I fall.

Life's puzzling , like addmath . Even the right is wrong.I never will please their understanding.Communications seem not to be a good idea with their plastic self-righteous.Admitted to be one of the pious people , look at you're reflection , does it show?

Egoness are in your blood vines.

Fearless are definitionless , I don't know how to soar when there's a wall around me.

Promises.Everything I did have reasons.If you are spitting you're blame on me , you're just swimming with you're own insecurities. Faith seems not to be the subject in yourself anymore which I thought it lives with you. Face the problems , I'm insignificant for everything.

Let's change our roads , and twist the mole around.

It's like ancient love that won't outgrow. They say they knew love , the laughter feels like it echoes to me.The present of the person just itch so slight , I have nobody . While I swam in the sea of catastrophe , there's just homonculus that lead my path .

I'll cross the drowny ocean myself .