I'm in a pitch of darkness. Getting myself deep into the black hole. Into the most unorthodox and indecent desires thats just consumed me like leech. It's very awkward that God gave me this indiscreet nature but forbade it. I wanna seek salvation again , hard times makes me do rather unconstituitional thing to do.
I refused to be a damsel in distress but how do I be a heroin for my ownself, how do i venture this frustration. This contentious and hypocritical dual identity crisis, and I'm 20 I thought I'm too old already for this. I'm constantly tired and underprepared, can't have authority or jurisdiction over myself again since lately I'm so alien, I don't understand what i want

Law degree is---------------hard. Like a fucking brick, it makes your self esteem hurt and injured your self-confidene, and then you started thinking your level of intellectuality doesnt fit in the decision-making subjects  indecisive Judges judgement and puzzling law principles, endless disputes between human and etc etc etc.
But I'm just gonna try yknow, I'm just gonna stretch my ability, how far I can go, before changing directions and regret.