Why can i not have that kind of life?

Pfft the song is so addictive.

Harmonica with guitar?interesting.

Rain.Accompany me when im being overly flustered or stressed or maybe fucking unsatisfied.They somehow embrace me when im being like that.
Tomorrow.School back,Hell is back.I will go to school and meets no face that i most comfortable and feel warm most.There is none,the aura of true friends is completely empty.In a pace that i'm not familiar at all.In the conversation that i dont even recognize my ownself talking.That girl is not Icha that i used to remember.That Icha who used to be loud and crank that laugh wholeheartedly.That is Nisa who i even didnt recognize.Nisa that is somehow starting to dissapear from people's eye or mind.
I hate that school ,who choked me out with their exam-freak tradition.With their got-to-be-the-best thingy that's dampening me.What a bitch.

crystall ball.

I never tired hearing this song,it somehow makes me imagine im somewhat running and running in an open field where the evening sun rays linger on my skin.Keane's music makes my adrenaline run through my vein for a sudden eventhough depression to escape is much fitting every pores of the song.Definitely describe on my mind through every breathe i take.

I spends all my time,let the anime influencing every pieces of my brain,though for sometimes i felt i am rather abnormal.Laughing and crying and muttered angrily alone.Why do i felt odd on this part of me?I always do that,maybe i dont associated with my fantasy much because of my hectic life.And when i realise my fantasy back in my mind,i felt a sweet ackward lingers in me.

Im dissapointed with myself really,up until now,i didnt make out even a verse of my song;sigh.Maybe this is not the right time for me,my time is indeed limited.After ive settled this misery though.

I felt the abscenes of some important persons that somehow existed in my life lately.Arh,where are they?i need them;sigh.shizzz,i cnt tune my freakin 'guitar that sounds rather odd,eff

_____________
Who is the man I see
Where I'm supposed to be?
I lost my heart, I buried it too deepUnder the iron sea

Oh, crystal ball, hear my song
I'm fading out,
everything I know is wrong
So put me where I belong

typical post,i dnt have the mood to write a thoughtful post.

I woke up today feeling satisfied and calmed of my long sleep,and realized that rain is dropping shallowly on the window pane.I'm totally felt silent and alone in this holiday,maybe my friends all have forgotten me or doesnt concerned me as im just a friend who had moved and doesnt existed anymore in their eyes or deleting all data from their memories.heh,i don't know.

i felt like going out or laughing my hearts out and play with someone called friends.,but where are they?
It's okay,im just a nobody really.heh.

I guess im being a coward,running away from the road im facing by sleeping my whole days without doing anything like a doll who long died just to forgetting the road im facing
,accompanying by the tired tears flooded like rain water and confusion who surrounds me.Even my parents already tired of me of my presence and seems dont care about me much anymore.
i guess i have psychology issue,i need to cure myself,i need to end this.This miseryness contaged me.Or is it because exam that was held every damn 2 weeks,and all day and night i have to make myself busy with school ,extra classes and tuition at the same time. i felt like breaking down every pieces of it and burned it alive.My parents seems dont understand the exhaustion im facing,the urge of doing what i mostly dont want to.And how unfair it is that i have to confront it rather than other kid who can just enjoying their 15 years old life gigantically and used their parent's money to buy whatever clothe they like.I'm sleepless,im tired,im hungry.Im just sick of this fucking fucking life that made my knees trembled tiredly.

It's unfair,i dont want to face the road.I dont want,i dont want.I don't like being in this state,I dont want to be like this.i can't help it,i can't change myself,even how much you tired having me as your daughter.

Wan Ili Munirah :)

I smiled whenever i set my eyes on this picture.Her smile ,i thought ,makes me went through all the memories i had 3 years ago.The tension we washed away by laughing our lungs out.
She was like my sister,she was my other rational mind,who could just forbided me whenever i thought i wanted to do an irrational act.But her advice had their effect until now.
I couldnt believed she was actually lying to me that she's enganged with someone,i swear i cried for her,despite that im having major PMS that went me crazy =.=

Ili,aww i miss you :')

image credit;Elsa Asri.

My head swirled,energy drops as i set my head on the pillow,and totally totally out like a candle was lit off by the wind.My energy falls apart,my fearness grew stronger and stronger as i'm trying to approached tomorrow.I barely open the tv or even internet because of life schedule that played me like a puppet in a circus,controlling every bit of action by the tip of the finger.
Ah,the merciful God,im exhausted,my mind is exhausted.I want to rest my case but it's too far away from my sight.But i know you are always there for me,watching me with your full wisdomness.Give me light ,give me inner strength.